There is a thought pattern holding you back, we both know it. You’ve got a hundred bullet holes in your ideas before they ever leave your mind. The two words you need to eliminate from your mind today are “What if?”
Most of us are afraid to be our authentic selves because of thoughts like “What if they don’t like me?”, “What if I fail?”, and “What if I look stupid?”. Wellll, I’ve got some news for you.They won’t,you will, and you already do look stupid. Let’s get those out of the way right off the bat.
In finding my Rich Passion, I had to go through a lot, I mean a LOT of doubts. Oddly enough, You know what I found that was holding me back the most? Nothing. A phantom, at most. I had created in my mind this little version of me that was so limited, so inhibited, I could never accept how powerful I truly am.
Once I started taking a look to the way I was communicating with myself, I noticed this hypothetical question coming up all. the. time. In calling someone, what if they don’t answer? how do i leave a message that isn’t idiotic? What if they DO answer? What do I say first?
The pressure of a restaurant was no better. What if I choose the wrong thing? What if the waiter asks me how I like my eggs? I don’t know how to say it, I like them kind of runny but kind of firm yet not solid but I don’t know how to say that in ‘egg speak’ so “I’ll have them scrambled, thanks” because what if I look ignorant?
In each one of these situations, the other side has literally NO idea that this is happening in my head. No one was thinking “oh look at this idiot, with his scrambled eggs”. In reality, likely the same thing is going on in the head of the waiter! “What if I take the order wrong? What if the gal at table 6 thinks I gave her extra hash-browns because I like her?
The “What if” game is a plague on human consciousness. Feeding off of the highest version of ourselves, It spits back out a diminutive picture of us that we come to accept as the real thing.
Collectively, Let’s kick “What If” to the curb. Whenever it creeps into your mind, change the pattern. I look at it as an “If, Then” game now. “If X happens, then I will do Y.” Very similar starting point, drastically different ending. Instead of leaving an open ended, ‘let your imagination think of the worst possibilities’ sort of question, “If, Then” puts you back in the driver’s seat of your mind. You give yourself solutions, and stop feeling so powerless. If they answer the phone, then I will ask them to dinner. If they say no, then I will awkwardly laugh and hang up, run home, cry a little, and then realize they were never good enough for me in the first place.
In reality, If something happens that makes you looks silly, then you will look silly. Period. That’s the worst of it. If you fall down in the movie theater, then people will laugh at how comedic it was that your popcorn made it to the 13th row when your shoe only made it to the 2nd . And then? They’ll get on with the show.
Eliminating negative self talk and replacing it with empowering terms is the first step towards living a rich, authentic life.